Struggling

I am struggling today with the fact that I am back to work one week from now. I look at Callum and cannot believe how big he has gotten in just 12 weeks. I wish I could have done more to enjoy those first two months but to be honest with you, I am just glad that we survived them. Iain and I are going to make a visit to our day care tomorrow to introduce Callum to the staff and finalize everything. I am confident that this day care will be a great place for Callum to spend his days while Mommy and Daddy are at work. I also do not think that I was meant to be a stay at home mom. I truly respect anyone who could commit themselves to this undervalued and underpaid job. But, for myself personally, I like my job. I like going to work and when thinking about everything I need to do before the semester starts, I get excited to return. On the flip side of this, I know that I could and possibly will miss a lot of firsts in Callum's life. His first time rolling over, his first steps, maybe even his first word. This makes me sad. But I know deep down that returning to work was inevitable and happens in just one week. I hope that this helps me cherish the time he and I spend together since it will be considerably less each day.